University mentoring program helps girls build confidence

Updated 8:00 PM September 2, 2005

University mentoring program helps girls build confidence

By Lindsey Paterson
University Record Intern

Trouble with girlfriends, confusion over the changes taking place in their bodies and difficulty coping with the teasing that inevitably goes with middle school can be tough for adolescent girls. For most pre-teens talking about these uncomfortable issues with parents clearly is out of the question, so where do they turn?

For some local girls, the University has an answer through a mentorship program, "It's Great to Be a Girl," which seeks to maintain the self-esteem of middle-school girls while providing U-M students the opportunity to give something back to the community.

The program that recently received high honors as one of five finalists from more than 200 nominees for the 2005 Governor's Service Awards in the "Innovative Mentoring Program Award" category, brings a group of female U-M students together with several dozen 11-year-old girls to discuss important issues weighing on the minds of 6th graders, including teasing and harassment. They also help the girls examine media pressures, and engage them in dream building, career opportunities and academic success strategies. Their meetings take place on Tuesdays during the University's fall and winter semesters.

"I think it's safer for kids to talk about issues in a group versus one-on-one," says Carole Lapidos, program director. "Kids 11-years-old don't like to have the spotlight directly on them. If kids are a part of a group and they realize that somebody else feels that way or has had that experience, too, there's a sense of 'OK. I can say what I'm going to because now I don't feel so alone.'"

The program uses the same successful group-mentoring style it has since 1998, organizers say. For 10 weeks, University students involved in the program meet at West Middle School in Ypsilanti to listen as the girls share their feelings and experiences.

"Sometimes the middle-school girls don't feel comfortable talking to their parents or they may not feel like they have someone to talk to. And it gives them a voice," says Theda Gibbs, a program assistant in the Office of Academic Multicultural Initiatives (OAMI), which helped develop the program. "They're little girls who we listen to, who we do treat like they're important. We tell them, 'how you feel and how you think is important.'"

The program uses discussion to help girls work through trying situations and to enable them to make healthy and wise decisions. "If they have those tools, then they can take those and use them in any situation," Gibbs says.

One example of applying tools involves peer pressure. Gibbs lists several questions "femtors"—as she calls University's female mentors—might ask the middle-school girls: Why are you feeling peer pressure?, Where is it coming from?, Why do you feel it?, Why do you feel you want to do something or why do you not want to do something?, What are the repercussions for doing it?, How do you think you would feel afterward?, If your parents or friends know, how will they respond and does that make a difference in your decision?

Gibbs remembers an incident last year when one girl almost fought another over gossip. The girl said she had been urged to settle the score and she didn't "want to be a punk."

The mentors and Gibbs asked her why it was important for her to seem cool to her friends. "Without us even saying fighting is bad, or you're a bad person because you're going to fight, she figured it out for herself," Gibbs says. "It's not always that easy, but" she says with a laugh.

University students also benefit from the program, according to John Matlock, associate vice provost and OAMI director.

"Not only do our students have the opportunity to help young females, but they grow themselves," Matlock says. He, Lapidos and Gibbs agree that the mentors grow in areas of leadership. They have to keep a professional persona and discover how to be non-judgmental of the 6th grade girls.

"It's a learning experience for them, too. We want them to be better and more well-rounded students when they graduate, and more community involved," Matlock says. "We talk about how community participation is a lifetime commitment."

The program is offered in cooperation with the Edward Ginsberg Center for Community Service and Learning, and the Women's Studies Program, as well as organizations outside of U-M, including the Girl Scouts of Huron Valley Council and West Middle School.

For more information on "It's Great to Be a Girl," visit: http://www.umich.edu/~oami.

University mentoring program helps girls build confidence

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